Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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