she woke up with a sticky ear
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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