Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
