I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love having hate sex.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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