he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
