Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
