You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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