Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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