Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My ass is underappreciated
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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