What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
