called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
