there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Boobs are out for the taking
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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