I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
