Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
