I have demons in me.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
