also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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