mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
