Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize