A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
