having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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