To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
