Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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