you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
