loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize