His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Sorry my hands just texted you
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
