I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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