you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
