just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
