i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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