Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I look better un-naked...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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