Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The adults are the big ones right?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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