you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize