perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
