its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
