During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
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