Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
