Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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