Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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