i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
