He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
