Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
