I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
