You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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