I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
