so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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