Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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