he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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