So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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