Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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