Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
