hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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