so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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