ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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