So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.