This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I AM VODKA MAN