She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize