Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
