just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
