just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
