ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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