I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
