I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
