I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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