If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
time to smoke my breakfast
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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