KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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