I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
