I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
