I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
where am i from again
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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